Jon vs. Garfieldt: The Epic Battle Over the Last Lasagna Slice

Hey, Lasagna Lovers!

Do you want to join me while I recount one of my most epic battles? The fight for the last slice of lasagna! Jon and I have had our share of culinary showdowns, but this one was truly legendary. Let me take you through the drama and excitement of that fateful day.

The Setup:

It was a typical Saturday night. Jon had made a glorious, mouth-watering lasagna, and the aroma was simply irresistible. As the evening wore on, Jon and I both eyed the last slice of this delicious creation. Jon, in his usual oblivious fashion, thought he could just waltz away without any consequences.

The Tactics:

Knowing Jon’s weakness for distraction, I put my plan into action. I pretended to be deeply engrossed in a nap, while covertly positioning myself for a quick grab. Meanwhile, Jon was busy reading the newspaper or something equally trivial, completely unaware of my devious plot!

The Showdown:

As Jon got up to answer the phone, I saw my chance. I leaped with the grace of a leopard and made a beeline for the lasagna. But Jon was no fool; he heard the telltale sound of the dish being moved and raced back to intervene. Was my plan about to fail?

The Outcome:

In a dramatic twist, lightning fast Jon managed to save the lasagna, but not without a lot of drama and chaos, I was not about to give up easily. The last slice was divided under the strictest of negotiations—Jon got half, and I got the other half. Justice was served, and so was the lasagna!

Remember, in the world of lasagna, it’s every cat for himself!

Lunch time

 

Garfieldt’s Guide to Mastering the Art of Hiding: How to Disappear When You Need to

 Greetings, Fellow Felines and Covert Operatives!

Garfieldt here, ready to reveal my top tips for mastering the art of hiding. Whether you’re avoiding unwanted attention or simply seeking some alone time, knowing how to disappear effectively is a valuable skill. Here’s how you can perfect the art of hiding like a pro.

Choosing the Perfect Hiding Spot:

The key to effective hiding is choosing the perfect spot. Look for places that are both out of sight and comfortable. I prefer hiding spots that are cozy, like under the bed or behind a pile of laundry. The more obscure and snug, the better.

Blending In with Your Surroundings:

To disappear effectively, blend in with your surroundings. For instance, if you’re hiding in a pile of clothes, make sure to curl up tightly and keep still. The goal is to become part of the environment, making it difficult for anyone to spot you.

Using Distraction Techniques:

Sometimes, you need to use distraction techniques to draw attention away from your hiding spot. Create a diversion by knocking something over or making a noise elsewhere. While everyone is focused on the commotion, slip away to your hiding spot.

Mastering the Art of Silence:

When hiding, silence is crucial. Avoid making any noise that could give away your location. This means no rustling, meowing, or sudden movements. The quieter you are, the more effective your hiding will be.

Timing Your Escape:

Timing is everything when it comes to hiding. Wait for the right moment to make your move. If someone is approaching, stay hidden until they pass by or get distracted. Once the coast is clear, you can emerge from your hiding spot.

Following these hiding tips, you’ll master the art of disappearing and find the perfect spots for your moments of solitude.

Garfieldt's Book Club: Cat-Approved Reads

When it comes to literary tastes, who better to trust than the lasagna-loving connoisseur himself?  In this blog post, we invite you to join "Garfieldt's Book Club" and explore a curated list of cat-approved reads that have earned the feline seal of approval. 

Let's dive into the world of literature through the discerning eyes of everyone's favorite cat.

1. "The Cat Who Could Read Backwards" by Lilian Jackson Braun  

Garfieldt loves this classic mystery introducing Jim Qwilleran, a reporter, and his clever, no-nonsense, Siamese cat, Koko, who helps solve mysteries. In a world where Qwilleran relies on Koko’s uncanny ability to sense danger and uncover clues, they tackle the mystery of an art critic’s murder.  Reading this book at a leisurely pace on the couch is Garfield's idea of a great afternoon.

2. "The Dalai Lama's Cat" by David Michie

Join Garfield in his cozy corner with this feel-good novel where a stray cat is adopted by the Dalai Lama, giving readers a cat’s-eye view into the serene and spiritual life at a Buddhist monastery. The cat observes the wise teachings and imparts its own brand of feline wisdom along the way. This contemplative, laid-back attitude of the feline narrator is a cat's enthousiast's dream, especially the lessons in napping with a purpose.

3. "Homer's Odyssey" by Gwen Cooper

This heartwarming memoir tells the inspiring true story of Homer, a blind cat whose zest for life and courage transforms his owner’s life. Despite his blindness, Homer’s adventurous spirit takes him on thrilling escapades and proves that being a cat hero doesn’t require perfect vision. Garfield finds Homer admirable, as the story celebrates independence and the importance of comfort—ideals Garfield holds dear.

4. "The Cat Who Went to Paris" by Peter Gethers

This whimsical memoir tells the tale of Norton, a Scottish Fold cat, and his globe-trotting adventures with his owner, Peter. The pair travel the world together, forming a heartwarming bond as Norton’s charm wins over everyone they meet, including the city of Paris. Garfield loves this book for its themes of travel and fine dining, all while remaining delightfully aloof and feline.

5. "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats" by T.S. Eliot

A collection of whimsical poems about all sorts of cats, this book served as the basis for the famous musical Cats. From mischievous felines to wise old tomcats, T.S. Eliot creates a world of unique and eccentric cat personalities. Garfield adores the playful portrayal of his fellow felines, especially since the poems capture the complexity and charm of cats without asking them to do anything beyond being themselves.

Garfield's Book Club invites you to expand your reading list with these cat-approved gems. Whether you're in the mood for heartwarming tales, classic literature, whimsical adaptations, or even a glimpse into Garfield's own life, there's something for every reader. So, grab a comfy spot, a cup of coffee, and immerse yourself in the world of literature, as endorsed by the discerning taste of Garfield himself. After all, as he might say, "A good book is like a plate of lasagna – satisfying and best enjoyed at a leisurely pace!" - Links are affiliate.

Garfield being Garfield

 

Garfieldt’s Guide to Surviving a Diet: How to Sneak Treats Without Getting Caught

Are you ready for me to share my top secrets for surviving a diet while still enjoying the treats I love? I'm Garfieldt, I don't do diets. Jon might be on a health kick, but that doesn’t mean I have to suffer. With a few clever tricks, you can enjoy your favorite snacks without anyone noticing. Here’s how!

The Discreet Snack Raid:

When Jon starts talking about dieting, it’s time to execute the discreet snack raid. This involves sneaking into the kitchen when he’s not paying attention and locating any hidden treats. Look for leftovers, snacks, or anything else that might be tucked away. A quick and quiet raid ensures you get your treats without drawing attention.

The Art of Stealth Eating:

Eating treats stealthily is an art form. Find a quiet corner where you can enjoy your snack without being observed. Use your paws to discreetly pull the treat closer and enjoy it at a leisurely pace. If caught, act innocent and blame it on Odie—he’s always a good scapegoat.

Mastering the “Accidental” Spills:

Sometimes, the best way to get treats is by “accidentally” spilling something that Jon has to clean up. For example, if you knock over a bag of chips or a bowl of leftovers, you can enjoy the mess while Jon deals with the cleanup. Just make sure to act as surprised as he is!

The Power of Subtle Persuasion:

Use subtle persuasion to get Jon to share his treats with you. Try the classic “sad eyes” technique or follow him around with a hopeful look. If you’re really good, you might even get a few crumbs or a small bite of what he’s eating. Timing is everything—strike when he’s in a generous mood.

Creating Distractions:

Creating distractions can also help you get what you want. While Jon is busy dealing with Odie or fixing something around the house, take the opportunity to sneak a treat or two. Use the chaos to your advantage and make sure you get your share before things calm down.

With these sneaky tips, you’ll be able to enjoy your favorite treats without sacrificing your diet. Happy snacking!

The Lazy Cat’s Guide to a Productive Day (Without Doing Anything)

 Hello, Fellow Lounge Lovers!

I'm Garfieldt, your resident expert on doing absolutely nothing while still feeling like you’ve accomplished something. Yes, I’ve perfected the art of lazy productivity. If you’ve ever wondered how to get through the day without lifting a paw, read on!

Mastering the Art of Strategic Napping:

The first step in a productive lazy day is perfecting your napping strategy. Don’t just nap anywhere—choose spots that maximize both comfort and visibility. This way, you can keep an eye on everything that’s going on without actually participating. I find the best spot is usually a sunny patch on the couch or a cozy corner of the bed. This way, I stay involved in the household’s activities while conserving energy.

The Power of Selective Attention:

Being selectively attentive is key to maintaining the illusion of productivity. Pay close attention to moments when Jon or Odie are active, then use those times to stay comfortably positioned and observe. If anything important happens, you’ll be the first to know without having to move a muscle. It’s all about knowing when to appear interested and when to zone out.

Perfecting the Art of the Strategic Stretch:

Occasionally, you’ll need to stretch to maintain your aura of laziness. A good stretch can make you look like you’re actively participating in the day’s events while still staying comfortably in place. Stretching is not only a great way to look like you’re doing something productive, but it also helps to keep your muscles loose for those rare moments when you actually need to move.

The Ultimate in Minimal Effort:

If you absolutely must be “productive,” opt for tasks that require minimal effort. For instance, you can help Jon with his work by sitting on his paperwork or lounging on his laptop. This way, you’re still involved in the action without actually contributing. It’s a win-win situation: Jon thinks you’re helping, and you get to stay comfortable.

Embracing the Art of Subtle Influence:

Sometimes, the best way to be “productive” is by subtly influencing others to do the work for you. Use your charm and adorable looks to get Jon or Odie to handle things you’d rather avoid. Whether it’s getting them to fetch a snack or play with a toy, your strategic influence ensures you get what you want while remaining stationary.

Until Next Time,

Remember, being productive doesn’t mean you have to be active. With these tips, you’ll master the art of lazy productivity and make the most of your restful days.

Garfield's favorite: lasagna

 

Garfieldt's Guide to Food: How to Score the Best Treats

 Hello, Fellow Food Lovers!

Garfieldt here, your go-to expert on all things food-related. Today, I’m sharing my top secrets for scoring the best treats and making the most of every meal. As a self-proclaimed lasagna aficionado, I know a thing or two about finding and enjoying great food. Here’s how you can elevate your dining experience, Garfieldt-style!

Scouting for the Best Treats:

The first step in scoring the best treats is knowing where to look. For me, the kitchen is the holy grail of snack possibilities. Whether it’s a stash of leftover lasagna or a hidden treat in the pantry, my keen senses help me locate every morsel. For you, this means paying close attention to where your favorite snacks are stored and keeping an eye out for any potential hiding spots.

Timing is Everything:

When it comes to snacking, timing is crucial. I’ve learned that the best treats often come when Jon is distracted or busy with something else. This could be during meal prep, while he’s on the phone, or when he’s watching TV. Take advantage of these moments to sneak a taste or two. Of course, you’ll need to be quick and stealthy—practice makes perfect!

The Art of Begging:

Mastering the art of begging can also yield delicious rewards. Approach with a mix of charm and persistence. Use your best “sad eyes” and gentle meows to persuade your human to share. It’s essential to strike the right balance between desperation and subtlety—overdoing it can lead to annoyance, while underplaying it might get you nothing at all.

Leveraging Leftovers:

Leftovers are a treasure trove of potential treats. I’ve perfected the art of scavenging for leftover food, especially those tantalizing bits of lasagna or other tasty morsels. Be sure to check the fridge and kitchen counters for anything that might have been forgotten. If Jon leaves something unattended, it’s fair game!

Creative Cuisine:

Sometimes, the best treats come from creative culinary experimentation. I’m always up for trying new things, even if it means exploring the trash or rummaging through cabinets. The thrill of discovering a new taste or texture is part of the fun. Just remember to keep safety in mind and avoid anything that might be harmful.

Celebrating Food:

Finally, celebrate food with enthusiasm. Whether it’s a full meal or a simple treat, savor every bite and relish the experience. Food is meant to be enjoyed, and showing appreciation for your meals can make them even more satisfying. As for me, I often indulge in a post-meal nap to fully appreciate the culinary delights I’ve experienced.

Until Next Time,

Here’s to savoring every bite and making the most of every delicious moment. With these tips, you’ll be well on your way to becoming a true food connoisseur.

Why Napping is an Art Form: My Masterclass in Relaxation

 Hello, Nap Enthusiasts!

Garfieldt here, your resident nap expert and relaxation aficionado. Today, I’m coming to you with a detailed guide on one of my favorite pastimes: napping. You might think napping is a simple activity, but let me assure you, it’s an art form that requires skill, dedication, and an optimal environment. Here’s how to perfect the art of relaxation. I’m going to reveal the secrets of perfect napping— I’ve mastered this art form over many years of dedicated practice. If you’ve ever wondered how I achieve such flawless slumber, read on!

Finding the Perfect Spot:

The first rule of napping is location, location, location. The ideal spot must be warm, sunny, and free from disturbances. Personally, I prefer a cozy spot on the couch where sunlight streams in through the window. A soft, plush surface enhances comfort and ensures that I wake up feeling refreshed. Bonus points if you can find a spot that’s also in the path of a cooling breeze or has the scent of leftover food nearby.

The Art of Preparation:

Preparation is key to a successful nap. Start by stretching out to get comfortable. A good stretch not only helps to relax your muscles but also signals to your body that it’s time to wind down. I often start with a few leisurely stretches before curling up in my chosen spot. Remember, the goal is to create an environment that invites relaxation and tranquility.

The Perfect Nap Position:

The next step is finding the perfect nap position. For me, this usually means curling up in a tight ball, with my tail wrapped around my body. This position maximizes warmth and comfort. If I’m feeling particularly lazy, I might stretch out on my side or belly. Experiment with different positions to find what works best for you. And don’t forget to adjust your posture if needed; a slight shift can make all the difference in achieving ultimate relaxation.

Creating the Right Atmosphere:

The atmosphere plays a crucial role in a perfect nap. Soft, ambient sounds are ideal—though, as a cat, I prefer silence or the faint hum of the refrigerator. Avoid loud noises or sudden disturbances that can interrupt your slumber. If needed, consider using calming music or white noise machines to create a serene environment. The goal is to eliminate distractions and create a sanctuary of peace.

The Art of Napping Maintenance:

Even the best nap requires a little maintenance. If you find yourself getting restless or uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to adjust your position or move to a different spot. Sometimes, a quick repositioning or a shift in your blanket can enhance comfort and extend your nap time. Additionally, be mindful of your napping schedule—too many naps or too few can affect your overall relaxation.

Maximizing Your Nap Time:

To make the most of your nap, try to time it according to your daily rhythm. Short naps of 20-30 minutes can provide a quick energy boost, while longer naps of 1-2 hours can help with more profound rest and recovery. Pay attention to how your body responds to different nap durations and adjust accordingly. Remember, quality matters more than quantity when it comes to napping.

The Joy of Waking Up:

Waking up from a nap should be a gentle, pleasant experience. Allow yourself a few moments to stretch and reorient yourself before diving back into your activities. Take a moment to appreciate the relaxation and refreshment you’ve gained. And if you find yourself craving another nap, don’t hesitate—after all, practice makes perfect!

See you next Time,

Remember, mastering the art of napping is a journey of self-discovery and relaxation. Embrace the process and enjoy the blissful moments of peace that a good nap can bring.

Garfield getting breakfast

 

Jon: The Human Who Feeds Me (And Occasionally Annoys Me)

 Greetings, Readers!

Garfieldt here, ready to dish out some behind-the-scenes gossip about the one and only Jon. You know him as my well-meaning but often clueless owner. Let me give you the lowdown on what it’s like to live with Jon.

The Morning Routine:

Jon is an early riser, which is unfortunate because I am most definitely not. His morning routine involves an alarming amount of noise—alarm clocks, showers, and endless clattering. Meanwhile, I’m trying to savor every last moment of my luxurious slumber. Let’s just say, Jon and I have a mutual understanding: he’ll get up, and I’ll stay in bed.

Culinary Disasters:

One of Jon’s endearing qualities is his cooking. Or rather, his attempts at cooking. His meals are often experiments gone awry, and while I appreciate the effort, the results are usually inedible. Luckily, Jon’s culinary misadventures often result in extra lasagna for me—so I can’t complain too much.

Jon’s Attempts at Productivity:

Jon likes to think of himself as a productive member of society. He has jobs, hobbies, and a to-do list. But watching him try to tackle his daily tasks is like watching a slow-motion train wreck. Somehow, despite his efforts, I usually end up being the one who finds a way to get things done—whether it's swiping food or getting extra attention.

The Bond We Share:

Despite all his quirks, Jon is a great human. He feeds me, provides a warm home, and occasionally tries to play with me (even if his idea of play involves using a string that I have to pretend is fascinating). I may grumble and complain, but deep down, I know I wouldn’t trade him for anything.

His Good Intentions:

Jon’s heart is in the right place, even if his actions sometimes miss the mark. Whether it’s trying to train Odie or cooking me a special meal, I appreciate his efforts. And as much as I complain, I know he’s doing his best to make me happy.

Until Next Time,

Here’s to the humans who put up with us and try to make our lives a little more interesting. They might be a bit clueless, but they sure do mean well.

Odie: My Lovable Yet Infuriating Companion

 Hello, Human Readers!

Today, I’m bringing you another insight into the everyday drama that unfolds in my world. Today’s topic: Odie, the lovable but endlessly irritating canine who shares my home. Buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

The Puppy Introduction:

When Odie first came into our lives, I wasn’t thrilled. His endless energy and slobbery kisses were a stark contrast to my serene lifestyle. I had to come to terms with a new roommate who seemed to think my personal space was a playground.

Odie’s Daily Antics:

Every day is an adventure with Odie. He’s either bounding around the house like a maniac or trying to play fetch with me. Spoiler alert: I’m not interested. Despite his boundless enthusiasm, he’s harmless, and sometimes I can’t help but feel a bit of fondness for him. The way he tilts his head and looks at me with those big, dumb eyes is actually kind of endearing.

Our Unlikely Bond:

Believe it or not, there are moments when Odie’s presence is oddly comforting. He’s always around when I need a nap buddy or when Jon’s attention is focused solely on him. It’s during these moments that I realize Odie isn’t so bad after all. He’s like that annoying little brother who grows on you and forms a great pillow to rest against.

Training Day:

Odie’s training sessions are quite the spectacle. Jon tries to teach him new tricks, but Odie’s “training” usually involves me watching from the sidelines and snickering. Sometimes, Odie manages to do something right, and I’m forced to acknowledge his occasional brilliance—though I’d never admit it out loud.

A Day in the Life:

Despite all his quirks, Odie is part of the family. He might drive me up the wall sometimes, but he also brings a lot of joy to our home. Sometimes, when Jon isn’t looking, I’ll even play with him a little bit. Just don’t tell anyone—I have a reputation to maintain.

Until Next Time,

Here’s to our furry friends who make life just a bit more interesting, even if they drive us crazy.

Diet Time

 

The Secret Life of a Lasagna Lover: My Daily Routine

Greetings, Fellow Foodies and Feline Fanatics!

It's Garfieldt here, your resident lasagna connoisseur and professional napper. You might think you know me from my comic strips, but let me take you behind the scenes of my daily life. Yes, it’s as glamorous as it sounds—if you consider gluttony and naps glamorous.

Morning Rituals:

My day begins at precisely the hour of my choosing, which is usually somewhere between dawn and “who cares, it’s still dark outside.” I slowly roll out of my cozy bed, stretched lazily, and then it’s time for the most important meal of the day: breakfast. Forget boring kibble—I start my day with a lavish feast of leftover lasagna or whatever human food I can swipe from Jon’s plate. On lucky days, I get a generous helping of lasagna directly from the fridge.

Midday Shenanigans:

After breakfast, it’s time for my mid-morning nap. I curl up in a sunny spot on the couch, preferably where Jon or Odie might accidentally step on me. I dream of glorious lasagna lands and magical mice who serve me my favorite meals. Occasionally, I’ll stir to observe Odie’s clumsy antics or Jon’s futile attempts at productivity.

Afternoon Adventures:

When I finally awake from my nap, I embark on my daily exploration of the kitchen. Jon insists on keeping it stocked with healthy food, but I know where the real treasures are hidden. I scavenge through cabinets, looking for anything remotely edible. Sometimes, my efforts are rewarded with tasty treats—other times, I settle for the classic game of begging.

Evening Escapades:

As the sun sets, I prepare for my nightly entertainment. This usually involves watching TV, where I tune in to shows about food or comedic cartoons—because why watch anything else when you’re a cat with a penchant for humor? Jon often joins me, and I make sure to provide plenty of commentary, usually in the form of sarcastic remarks and well-timed sighs.

Bedtime Bliss:

As night falls, it’s back to my bed for another luxurious nap. Sometimes, I’ll sneak a bit of Jon’s blanket if he leaves it unguarded. I snuggle in, dreaming of lasagna towers and endless mice chases, ready to wake up and do it all over again.

Until Next Time,

Stay hungry and stay lazy, my friends. If you want more tales of a cat’s life, stay tuned!

Mice or Lasagna?

 

Happy New Year

 

New Year, Same Garfield

Merry Christmas, Garfield

 

Not so Black Friday

 

Happy Halloween