August 28, 2006

Weird Al does it again.




Weird Al is at it again. He made a new CD filled with satirical songs, called 'Straight outta Lynwood' in a nod to 'Straight outta Compton'. He even made the first song on the CD free for download. It's called 'Don't download this song'.
Have a hear. It's hilarious with lines like:

"Don't take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Humvee?
And diamond-studded swimming pools, these things don't grow on trees" :D

Here it is: Don't click this link ;)

August 24, 2006

North Korea trip



These are interesting travel reports from two guys who went to North Korea. Since the country is pretty much blocked off from the rest of the world, getting into it isn't that easy unless you go with a guided tourist group. And even then they won't let you out of their sight and make sure you only see what they want you to see. Still two interesting reports from a country of which little is known to most people. Let me know what you think of them.

North Korea Story 1

I noticed the second one took lots more 'forbidden' pictures, that he snapped while the guides weren't looking.

North Korea Story 2

August 18, 2006

The importance of emphasis in a spoken sentence


"I didn't say you stole the money."

Depending on the word you put emphasis on, one sentence can have 7 different meanings with no actual changes in the written words.

"*I* didn't say you stole the money." - he said it
"I *didn't* say you stole the money." - rejects the accusation
"I didn't *say* you stole the money." - I implied it
"I didn't say *you* stole the money." - mistaken identity
"I didn't say you *stole* the money." - it may have been misplaced
"I didn't say you stole *the* money." - just money in general
"I didn't say you stole the *money*." - just everything else


I never thought about how important the right emphasis can be. :)

June 01, 2006

Simple home remedies



Some funny stuff landed in my inbox today :)
Have a look.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A set mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

* You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
* If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
* If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Children's Science Exams


Almost better than a cup of coffee to start your morning....
If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.

These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The
body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

May 12, 2006

History of dance





This guy takes us through 50 years of dance history in 6 minutes, very amusing.

March 08, 2006

How to clean your toilet using your cat



Got this in my email inbox, very funny :)


1) Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2) Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3) In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4)The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.





5)Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6)Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7)Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8)The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9)Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Sincerely,
The Dog


January 03, 2006

Mamsects and Insmals



Worth 1000 had a cool contest again. They have created insect/mammal hybrids. These artists are just brilliant.



Bee Fox by 123lezy



Caterpillar by Penbender



Rhinsect by Dziedzic

see the rest of the contest images here