Happy New Year

 

New Year, Same Garfield

Merry Christmas, Garfield

 

Not so Black Friday

 

Happy Halloween

 

Garfield minus Garfield

What would Garfield comics look like without Garfield in them?
Turns out the comic changes completely and turns into a showcase of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life.

Meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

This site made a bunch of Garfield-less Garfield comics.
Some are extremely funny, others are sad or just plain weird.

Garfield minus Garfield

Do's and dont's with babies

Do you have a baby? Are you expecting one? Are you planning on having a baby in the future? Do you babysit sometimes? Do people you know have a baby? Have you ever been around a baby?

In all these cases the following is a 'must read'. Do you want to be sure how to properly handle a baby? Read on!

Hattrick

Do you like football (soccer)? Then read on!

Ever wanted to play a free online game where you can create your own team, manage it, and buy/sell/train players? And while you're doing that you can also play against other teams every week and try to get to the highest division in your country.

I've got one and I'm currently in division 7 out of 9. It'll take a while to get to the highest division, but that's a big part of the fun. Not just a little time waster but a big game that can last forever and only needs a little bit of time every week. Try it out, you'll like it.

Go to Hattrick now

Amazing Camouflage

Ever seen an army all dressed up in camouflage gear? Well, they try but compared to this octopus, they are nothing. This guy is truly the master of camouflage.

Weird Al does it again.

Weird Al is at it again. He made a new CD filled with satirical songs, called 'Straight outta Lynwood' in a nod to 'Straight outta Compton'. He even made the first song on the CD free for download. It's called 'Don't download this song'.
Have a hear. It's hilarious with lines like:

"Don't take away money from artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Humvee?
And diamond-studded swimming pools, these things don't grow on trees" :D

Here it is: Don't click this link ;)

North Korea trip

These are interesting travel reports from two guys who went to North Korea. Since the country is pretty much blocked off from the rest of the world, getting into it isn't that easy unless you go with a guided tourist group. And even then they won't let you out of their sight and make sure you only see what they want you to see. Still two interesting reports from a country of which little is known to most people. Let me know what you think of them.

North Korea Story 1

I noticed the second one took lots more 'forbidden' pictures, that he snapped while the guides weren't looking.

North Korea Story 2

The importance of emphasis in a spoken sentence

"I didn't say you stole the money."

Depending on the word you put emphasis on, one sentence can have 7 different meanings with no actual changes in the written words.

"*I* didn't say you stole the money." - he said it
"I *didn't* say you stole the money." - rejects the accusation
"I didn't *say* you stole the money." - I implied it
"I didn't say *you* stole the money." - mistaken identity
"I didn't say you *stole* the money." - it may have been misplaced
"I didn't say you stole *the* money." - just money in general
"I didn't say you stole the *money*." - just everything else


I never thought about how important the right emphasis can be. :)

What if WWII was a MMORPG?

Found this rather amusing :)

*Hilter[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hilter[AoE]: cool, I start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol
Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hilter you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hilter[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hilter rushed some1 help
Hilter[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hilter[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hilter[AoE]: wtf
Hilter[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hilter[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hilter
Hilter[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hilter[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hilter[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hilter[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hilter[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hilter[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hilter[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hilter u paper hanging hun coksocker
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hilter[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hilter[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hilter[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hilter[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hilter[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hilter[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

Simple home remedies

Some funny stuff landed in my inbox today :)
Have a look.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A set mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:

* You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.
* If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
* If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Some people are like Slinkies... Not really good for anything, but still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.

Children's Science Exams

Almost better than a cup of coffee to start your morning....
If you need a laugh, read through these Children's Science Exam Answers.

These are real answers given by children.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep, and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends
to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: What is artificial insemination?
A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The
body is consisted into three parts---the brainium, the borax and the
abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby. (I do love this one...)

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

History of dance

This guy takes us through 50 years of dance history in 6 minutes, very amusing.

How to clean your toilet using your cat

Got this in my email inbox, very funny :)


1) Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.
2) Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
3) In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid.
4)The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.





5)Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power-wash" and rinse".
6)Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.
7)Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids.
8)The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.
9)Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Sincerely,
The Dog

Mamsects and Insmals

Worth 1000 had a cool contest again. They have created insect/mammal hybrids. These artists are just brilliant.



Bee Fox by 123lezy



Caterpillar by Penbender



Rhinsect by Dziedzic

see the rest of the contest images here

Exit Mundi

Ever wondered what could happen to the world in the future? Think the world is here to stay the way we know it for ever? Think again. This site has tons of end-of-world scenarios, some crazy and farfetched, others very possible to happen in a not so distant future. All are explained very clearly and supported with scientific facts, but in a way it doesn't get boring. A must see if you want to know if it's time to duck under the table to hide, and if that would help you.

Exit Mundi

iPod's dirty secret

iPod has a secret. Casey Neistat recorded a phone call to the iPod helpdesk. They wanted to know what they should do now their iPod's battery stopped working after 18 months. It turns out you can't get or buy a separate new battery. So the advice from the helpdesk was: "Just buy a new iPod".

So that's why they keep selling so much of them, you apparently have to replace the every year and a half. The rest of the film you see them walking on the streets and spray painting a warning on every iPod ad they see.

So, do you have an iPod? How old is it? And how much longer do you think it will work?

iPod's secret

Get to Z

This is a fun and easy game. Easy to play that is, not easy to finish. The meaning of the game is to try to find the way to page Z. Very hard cause you have to remember which page links to which and find the way to the end. I tried and got till page Y. Tell me if you find the way to Z.
Get to Z


[EDIT: found page Z!]